My Favorite Moments as a Father

Tonight, as I was putting my oldest daughter to bed, I realized how much that ritual has come to mean to me.  It is a very simple moment, but it is absolutely the best part of my day.  It starts with her evening milk.  Once she finishes, we have family prayer.  Then, if I'm lucky, I get to take her up the bed.

I get to carry her up, and she holds me tight as we go up.  We have a good time on our way up the stairs.  Then, I lay her in her bed, and get her "guys."  There's Zebra, and Baby, and Puppy, and Elephant.  She gets her binky (which we hope to wean her off soon), and gets covered up by her blanket.  Every night, she then asks for a song.  She always wants the "Me" song.  "I love daughter, she loves me.  We love (Mommy, baby, cousins, neighbors, neighbor's mommies, etc.), yessiree.  They love us, and so you see, we are a happy family!"

We usually try to limit her to three verses of the song, although at times it is a challenge.  Most often, by the third verse, she has one of her guys pressed against her eyes, and has settled in to her bed.  I then give her a kiss on the forehead, and tell her, "Night night. We love you! See you tomorrow."  Sometimes, she'll close her eyes super tight, and pretend like she's already asleep.  It always makes me smile.

Each night, I'm amazed at the trust I see in her eyes.  I'm amazed at the love I feel for this little person.  I know that it is a tremendous challenge and responsibility to be a father.  There are times that it is exasperating and beyond frustrating.  But when I put her to bed, it makes it all worth it, and it gives me hope that I may be able to help in some small way raise her into a spectacular woman.

Black Line Days

There are certain days in life that I consider Black Line Days.  These are days that are a very distinct dividing point between the past and the future.  There are nationwide days, like 9/11, the assassination of JFK, or men landing on the moon.  There are cultural black line days, like the death of Joseph Smith in Mormon culture.

In an individual's life, black line days are usually less tragic, and are often anticipated.  In my life, there have been few true black line days.  November 28, 2000, November 13, 2009, and September 17, 2011 are probably the biggest in my life.  I knew the first was coming, the other second was a complete surprise, and the third I knew was coming soon, but not on that very day.  My life before each of these days was one way, the next something completely new and different.

May 22, 2013 was another black line day in my life.  My second daughter was born on that day.  Unlike our first, this birth was not a surprise.  We were able to schedule an induction, so my wife and I knew it was coming.  We also knew that our lives would never be the same.

Now, nearly three months into her life, I'm happy to report that our lives, though very different, are settling in to a wonderful new normal.  Daughter two has been a completely new challenge.  She is very different from our first, and a lot more challenging as a newborn.  Still, she has a sweet smile that we are seeing more and more of.  We're pretty sure that she's just frustrated that she can't move around as easily as her big sister can.  I'm guessing that she will be an early crawler and walker.

Black line days can be intimidating and scary.  Even when they are anticipated, we can never know exactly what's waiting for us beyond that black line.  I think though, that when we move forward with faith and trust, we'll find better days and a happier life.